Beauty, Grace, Power, Complexity, Female: Her
I would have loved to begin my story by saying I started writing from my mother’s womb, but that is a lie. I would love to wow you by saying I started writing before the age of 10, but another lie.
Writing found me at the age of 21. At the time, l had just relocated from Nigeria to the United States. Life was unfair and brutal. I needed an escape. The noise in my mind had become unbearable, more like a hundred voices speaking in foreign languages. …
On challenging stories, fears, and judgments, the everything we are made up of.
My favorite song begins with the lyrics, “There is so much I don’t know, and at the seams, I’ve come undone.”
It is true. The coming of age has made me undone.
I have always faced adulthood with definite certainty; how hard can it be? Dream big, make plans, and take action. Isn’t that what all motivational talks teach? I believed it. I dreamed crazy dreams, gave myself a deadline, worked towards what I thought I wanted, and still, it didn’t go according to plan. Well, now…
Because no one has ever held my heart as gently as a woman
Every relationship comes with a risk of potential hurt. Still the most fulfilling relationship in my life has been with women.
Women are dramatic. I heard it first as a child, and I hear it a lot as an adult. I saw it in real-time, too, with the older women living within the terrains of my childhood home. I saw through their filtered smiles and fake warmth. I wondered as a child why these women were miserable and why they had to force friendships at all. Sunday…
There are many weights in life, and the weights of expectations are the heaviest of them all. From your conception, the expectations begin; the shape of your head, the color of your eyes, the preferred gender as a boy or a girl, the type of things you’d like or be interested in, and a whole lot more. As soon as you are born, these expectations are projected on you directly, and they influence your choice and decisions as you begin to think, grow and choose your life.
Expectations can come from the outside or from within you. Most external expectations…
I am an African woman, one who is painfully aware of the existing traditional box filled with roles, responsibilities, and obligations that prioritizes my worth with being a wife and a mother. This belief is standard, and I don’t think any African woman escapes this belief system either raised in Africa or abroad. It is always there. Most ridiculous of this is the saying, sometimes verbal, sometimes non-verbal, “No matter what your aspirations are as a woman, you are bound to end up with a man as his wife.”
The above saying was the prison of belief for many of…
Ever wondered why sometimes happily ever after doesn’t always end in an happy ever after?
Romeo, save me, I’ve been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you, but you never come
Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said, “Marry me, Juliet
You’ll never have to be alone
I love you and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It’s a love story, baby, just say, “Yes”
Lyrics from Taylor Swift’s love story
What you hope for, you also fear - Alice Walker
I’d be surprised if you don’t or have never. You might think, why would anyone fear joy? The truth is, in some way or form, we all have, and we still do.
You dread joy whenever you have a good thing, and you begin to question and poison the moment with your worst fears.
Joy is the most vulnerable of all human emotions, and there is always an intense fear of vulnerability. There are a million and one instances where life presents us with an opportunity to be happy and…
I am trying to rest, but my brain can’t stop working. My body is tired. There has been no year like 2020 where I have ruthlessly worked myself to the bones. My back hurts from time to time, and still, I feel like I am not doing enough.
The productivity and achievements scheme is a real-life battle. Just when I decide it is time for me to take a nap and sleep, I go on Twitter and see someone sharing the news of a new book deal, the launch of something new, or the celebration of a win in their…
I write about personal growth, mental, emotional health, and shared human experiences. My first book, stirredbylife is out on amazon.